Quicksand Worrier by Obscure & Unnecessary Drama

Cross-posted from: Obscure & Unnecessary Drama
Originally published: 27.03.16

If my thoughts were constantly displayed on my face, they’d be two kinked lines running across my forehead with a furrowed brow. It’s just that the year 2016 has been overwhelmingly different right from new year’s eve. I didn’t realise that the last week of December and the new year was going to whisk me away so frantically that all constants would change. Evolve. Right in front of my eyes. I’m not complaining. Changes have been kind to me for once or may be I’m ‘growing up’ to accept them. It feels like the same me though. Same face, same hair, same girl, same exterior, same heart and mind. Yet so so different. Like the axis of my daily life has shifted.

With the onset of new challenges, old worries become new concerns. Yesterday’s problems seem so insignificant. Tomorrow is an anxious mix of nervous excitement and I seem to like the taste of it. Overthinking is still a part of me that won’t go away so swiftly. Whenever I have to dip my toes into something new, I wince, half expecting icy prickles, only to find warmth and comfort envelope me. It welcomes me like a protective blanket. It fills me joy, with new reassurance.

There are golden beams of the sun, glistening on my face. I close my eyes and take in the glow, most contently. I don’t blink, I don’t burn, I don’t look away.

I smile from within, from my toes, from my gut, from my hair follicles to my face. It feels like for once my worries will melt away soon enough. It feels like may be, just may be, this might be my time.

خُدا حافِظ

 

Obscure and Unnecessary DramaMehreen Shaikh, an Indian writer born and raised in Oman. Although I do visit my country of origin annually, I did spend a few years there studying. Not just academics but our society. Narrowing down further, I observed the relationship it had with women. I was brimming with observations and outrage. It took me a good while to tame my angst and harness it into proper valid arguments. Now I blog, where I feel free to rant about issues that I notice that most people would dismiss as minor but I know how the woman in that instance would feel. So many thoughts and so many incidents take place in a woman’s world that by no means are simple or easy to resolve.

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