It’s two days before my Anthropology exam, and I can’t concentrate.
I was sexually assaulted the day before. I feel teary. I feel numb. I don’t know what to feel.
I’m torn between knowing that I need a break so that I can begin to recover from my assault, and feeling guilty for missing an exam.
My guilt stems from believing that my academics determine my worth. It also stems from my believing that my worth is defined by my productivity levels – a capitalistic lie that we’re all taught from a young age.
Because of these deep-set beliefs, a part of me feels as if missing exams means I’m weak, useless, and a failure.
I know I need to practice self-care. But practicing self-care at university – a place that equates our worth with our academic ability – is incredibly difficult. …
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Just a South African Woman: An intersectional feminist blog tackling issues from a unique South African perspective. The posts attempt to explain and discuss some academic feminist theories in a simple manner, so as to make feminism accessible to more people. Follow me on Twitter @sianfergs
