Your Sexuality Is Not ‘Power’

Cross-posted from: Spinster Threat
Originally published: 03.01.16

Temporary and conditional, the “power” of female sexuality is granted by men and swiftly revoked once your sexual novelty wears off or you gain some weight or get too old, whichever makes a pornsick boner go down first.

Think about the so-called “power” you get from performing feminine sexuality in the first place.

Attention? Applause?

Some money, an expensive little gift, a favor, an agreement or promise?

Something a man gives you in exchange for sex, or at least the promise of it.

That is all.

Once sex is over or you’re not attractive anymore, where is your “power?”

Female sexuality as something “powerful” is a lie. That “power” is a favor that men grant women only until their balls are emptied. It is temporary and comes with conditions. And it’s not bestowed at all, ever, on women who are not considered viable sex objects to the majority of men, who all suffer to a degree of porn-sickness: women past a certain age, over a certain weight, not white, disabled, you get the idea.

“Feminists” promoting sexuality as a form of empowerment do a disservice to all women.

As feminist women we have a responsibility to cultivate our lives beyond the patriarchal values of “beauty” and “sexuality.” It takes time and work to go to school, acquire knowledge, build a career or community, gain experience, contribute to a field, become wise. True power comes from those endeavors.

Too many women take the primrose path to “empowerment” by pandering to men’s facile desires, and find it’s a short path to a dead end. Consider Judge Judy’s quote, “Beauty fades, but dumb is forever.” Have some long-term vision for yourself.


Spinster Threat Lifestyle blog for women who embrace radical feminism. Topics involve opting out of marriage, being childfree, going vegan, letting go of religion, simple living, appearance, and anything else women can do in their daily lives to undermine Patriarchy.

2 thoughts on “Your Sexuality Is Not ‘Power’”

  1. I assume you wrote this with the standard, social media driven “posts hot bikini pic of herself on Instagram 5 times a week” version of “female sexual empowerment” in mind, or something of the sort and that I can understand, but still don’t fully agree with you. While I see where you’re coming from, you are assuming that feeling sexually empowered inherently depends on the approval of men, and by suggesting this I believe you are only re-objectifying and colonizing female sexuality. What about the fact that through our sexuality, we have the POWER to provide LIFE? To me, that is empowerment. Knowing that my body has the ability to turn nothing into something. That really turns me on. What about feeling empowered through satisfying ourselves sexually? What about enjoying my body for ME, and not for a man? I don’t buy into the doctrine that feeling empowered by our sexuality could diminish our other qualities, either. Because I enjoy my sexuality and the way it draws a man to me like the force of gravity, the way I can pleasure myself, the beautiful and divine female form, the bringer of life, does not mean that I am any less intelligent, passionate, talented, driven or empathetic. I am every woman. Female sexuality IS and CAN be one of the MANY, aspects of feminine and womanly power. Thank you 🙂

    1. Additionally, saying that we depend on the approval of men for sexual empowerment is such a narrow view of how liberating true sexual empowerment can be. It is an offset of the social and cultural conditioning women and men have been subjected to in most societies, that women can only be attractive or pleasing as objects of the male desire and gaze, and not in and of themselves as full humans. It is my hope that one day soon, as a collective human society we can finally completely shed the belief that women exist only in relation to men and their pleasure, and can function as fully sexual, fully human beings however the hell we want to. Seems like a dream I know, but it’s happening before our eyes! 😉

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.